Kiptonized

Out of the annals of weird politics and Louisiana campaigns, comes this heartwarming tale from Baker, LA.

A lifelong Baker resident claims she was permanently disabled after watching a YouTube video released by mayor-president candidate Mike Walker’s campaign.

She says that she's been Kiptonized by the ad, in which Mayor Kip Holden claims that crime isn't a problem.

“I saw that video on the YouTubes,” Lacey said. “And when the swirly thing came on and the watch went back and forth, I got really sleepy, like when I get the itis after eating a bunch of ribs.”

Yeah, that swirly thing has entranced her.

She tells the paper that she can't walk to work any more and she's deserving of disability.

The 48-year-old grandmother said she can no longer perform her duties as a high school cafeteria worker after viewing the ad and has since filed for full disability with the state. “I can’t do nothing anymore, baby,” Lacey explained. “I been Kipnotized. All I wanna do now is drink Budweiser and hang out with white women.”

Heh! Only in Louisiana. You can watch the campaign ad here.