Sunday, March 27, 2016


Surfing around this morning in the pre-dawn, I was struck by several articles over at PJMedia.  This one really got my head spinning.  This gal is be-moaning the millennial men she meets.
Last week, Tomi Lahren, a 23-year-old political commentator for The Blaze, ended her show by raising the following question:
“Is it just me, or have men gotten really soft these days?”
What, specifically, dear, do you mean?
“This has nothing to do with sexuality. It has to do with the helplessness of today’s young men. It seems few can change a light bulb let alone fix a flat tire or change oil, and that makes for pretty slim pickings for the females out there looking for a match.
 Chivalry is all but dead, and so is manliness. And by the way, wearing a flannel shirt and having a beard doesn’t make you a man if you still can’t change a tire and are scared of the dark. It seems like millennial men either don’t have jobs or are still using their parents’ credit cards to buy us drinks at the bar…
Ahh, you're talking about the bar scene, and if you write for The Blaze, you're probably in a big city somewhere, probably a left-eaning city (but that's redundant).  You're looking (as the song says) for love in all the wrong places.  There are still men out there, you're just fishing in the wrong pond.

Get in your car and drive out of town.  Drive for an hour or more, until there are more trees than buildings.  If bars are your thing, look for the ones that have pickup trucks around them.  There are men in there.  Real men.  Some have issues, some are almost dead broke, but they are men, with all their faults and foibles.

But, bars aren't the best place to find men.  Especially if you don't know what a man is (and it seems that you're having trouble with definitions, having been dating in millennial bars).  The men in there might scare you.

Better yet, find a church.  If you have driven far enough south, you'll find churches everywhere.  There are men in there too.  Many times, singe men.  Men who fear God, treat women like gold, and take time to get to know a woman before anything else much goes on.  Men who know how to pray, who know how to wait for a friend, and know how to build a home. They'll have dreams, they'll have plans, and if you're lucky, they'll change those plans to fit you in.

She continues, though:
So whose fault is it? Is it our fault, ladies? Are we getting too strong? Nah, I don’t buy that. See, a real man knows how to handle a strong woman, so this isn’t our problem. Maybe it’s the way boys are raised these days: fatherless homes and no male role models. It’s hard to learn how to be a man with no man around.”
Real men aren't afraid of strong women.  Real men depend on strong women.  Women who know how to be a partner rather than a dependent.  But, you're right that it takes two parents to raise a man.  Boys need a father figure, someone to teach them how to be a man.  They also need a mother, who teaches them what is responsible, gives them an idea of how a strong woman deals with a strong man.  It takes two to raise a family.

She finishes with a prayer:
“Please teach your sons to be men, because the women of the world are tired of the boys.”
It seems if there is only one thing for her to do.  Find a man, a real man, build a relationship, get married, and start raising a passel of children.  Or, one, or two, with a strong man, and teach the children to become responsible, loving, adults.

This is a generational problem.   Men aren't made in a day, and it's each generations challenge to raise the next generation of men (and women).  I'd like to offer optimism, though.  There are lots of veterans around, after almost 15 years of war.  Good men, probably some of them ooking for good women.  She can find these men, strong men, at any VA Hospital, any AmVets, or VFW lodge, or probably at the local bar.  They'll normally be clean-shaven, with short hair.  They'll be fit, because soldiers run PT every morning.  And, generally, they will be men.  Real men.

But, once again, a real man might scare you if you're not a strong woman.


Judy said...

Sadly driving into the country won't get you a real man either. My daughter was raised in a small ranching town (pop. 160), twenty mile drive to school. She has bemoaned the same thing and she does not frequent drinking establishments because she doesn't like the taste of booze. The only males she has found that can hold a conversation are old enough to be her father, married and almost old enough to be her father, or more interested in their own sex.

Jonathan H said...

There are troubles on both sides as society has changed (and not for the better).
As a single guy in a semi-rural area, there are few women with whom I can hold an intelligent conversation, and even fewer who shares my values.
I have another tip for the writer of the article: When you do find a strong, considerate, respectful man, don't stomp all over him and treat him like crap!

Jon said...

I wouldn't necessarily say that all ex-military men are clean cut. For a few years after they get out, they have a tendency to grow out the hair and beard just because they can. Eventually, they get tired of the hassle and get back to the clean cut look, in most cases. But by that time a good, strong woman will probably have snatched them up.

RonF said...

There's plenty of churches in the cities. You may well have a problem finding young straight men in them, but it's worth a look.