We were at the Sheriff's Christmas party last weekend, and I was sitting across the table from an old friend, a guy who has been in law enforcement forever. I think he probably gave roadside assistance to the Three Wise Men. We'll call him David, for the purposes of this story. You have to understand that bears have been recently reintroduced to north central Louisiana to understand the story.
"Been having trouble out on my deer lease", David said. "Thought I had hogs eating my deer corn. I went out one morning and found my feeder tipped over, and it looked like hogs had been rooting around it."
"Well, ", I replied, "shoot the hogs. I hear that pork is mighty good eating."
"It is! Pork is mighty fine, and we're gonna thin them out after the season." David mixed another drink. "I took a welder out there and welded anchors to the legs, then drove rebar spikes about two feet in the ground. It'll take a pretty good hog to push over that feeder now.
"Only problem is something is still getting my corn. Fifty pounds in two days. I set up one of those cameras to see what was getting my corn. Whaddya think I have pictures of?"
"Bears. We have a momma bear with three little cubs. Momma has figured out that if she stands on her hind legs, she can spin the plate on the bottom of the feeder and corn will fall out. So momma bear spins the plate and the little bears eat the corn and momma bear spins the plate again."
"Hell, David... shoot her."
"Naw." David took a sip of his drink. "Can't shoot this bear. She's wearing one of them collars. You can see it and the antenna in the pictures. Sure as I shoot that bear, some Federal Boys with little black boxes will show up and wonder why the bear isn't moving. I'd be better off standing up right now, and shooting the Sheriff." he paused. "I don't think shooting the Sheriff is a Federal offense. Shooting that bear would be a bad thing."
Yeah, David best leave that bear alone.