So, I went for my semi-annual checkup yesterday. Everything is fine, I'm an old fat man, and the doc and I are good with that. My numbers look good, better than last time, so we're going through the usual litany of possible complaints. Do I have blood in my stool?, excessive or unexplained bleeding?, problems with shortness of breath?, problems sustaining an erection?.there is a whole list of questions. Then he comes to two that I haven't heard before.
"Suicidal?" He asks,
"Not likely." I respond.
"Sometimes." I reply, chuckling.
"Oh, geeze," he says. "Don't tell me that. It's one of the Obamacare questions. If you are homicidal and have guns, I'm supposed to report you to the police."
"Well, doc," I reply, "I have a gun in my pocket, and I am the police."
"Okay," he says, scribbling in his notes. "I'll just report it to you then."
"Seriously," I ask, "Is that on the list of questions?"
"Yeah," he says, "It came out on a revised list a couple of months ago."
"Well, hell. No one is going to admit to their doctor that they're homicidal."
He looks at me over his notes. "You just did."