I'm with Kim about the Hallmark Holidays.  I think most of them are pure bullshit.  It caused me grief during my first marriage.  The standard conversation went like this:
She:  "What are we going to do for Mother's day?"
Me: "I don't care.  Either go to your Mother's, or mine.  Whatever."
She: "Will we be doing anything special?"
Me:  "You aren't my mother."
Needless to say, before I get again accused of being a heartless bastard, I know who my Mother is.  I love the lady, would sell heaven or earth for her, and as long as she is alive will never want for anything if I can do anything about it.  I know what she has sacrificed for me and will spend my life repaying the debt.
I love my current wife, and think that the stars move around her, personally. I think everything she does is magical. One of the reasons is this conversation we had early in our courship.
She:  "What would you like to do for Mother's Day?"
Me:  "Look, sweetheart, I love you.  If your kids have something special planned, then I am all for it.  My kids will spend it with their Mother.  You ain't my Momma."
She:  "Damn right."
The obverse is also true.  I ain't her Father.  I don't expect anything from her for Fathers day.
My kids know their Father.  With three boys and one daughter, all members of the Nation of Riflemen, they have a pretty good idea of gifts, large and small, for any occasion.  If it is something gunny, from a knife to a new caliber, then they are on solid ground.  The gift can be small, like a new die, animal call, or sharpening stone.  If I happen to have one, then a duplicate is wonderful.  Tools are always wonderful, because, frankly, I am a guy and I don't own all the tools yet.
But, I expect my wife to Stand By, and let my kids do their thing on Father's day.  A hug from those nearby, or a call from those away, is really all I expect.  They can never repay me for the sacrifices I made, and I don't expect them to try.  I tried to repay my Momma by being the best Father I could be.  I expect them to repay me by being the best parents they can be.  Family comes first. Take care of your kids and teach them what I taught you.  Keep the craft of parenting alive.
 
1 comment:
Very interesting.
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