Frying a turkey

Frying turkeys is a big deal here in Louisiana, where we are apt to fry anything that walks, flies, swims or crawls. Out in my shed, I have my turkey frying gear set up, ready to go.

You need a little specialized equipment, like this:


You can get this equipment anywhere. A simple Google search shows that Target has them.

Turkey frying is best done outdoors, because you are going to make a damned mess. I guarantee it. Any fool who fries a turkey indoors runs a very real risk of burning down the house. Be forewarned.

It isn't hard to fry a turkey if you follow a few reasonable steps. First off, find a safe place, where an oil spill can be ignored or cleaned easily. Then, weigh your turkey. It is crucial that you know exactly the weight of the bird, because that will determine the frying time. Lets say you have a 12.5 pound turkey. You are going to fry it for three minutes per pound. 12.5 X 3 = 37.5. You are going to fry that bird for 37.5 minutes.

Thawing a turkey is an exercise in itself. Follow the label directions on the bird. Follow them exactly. Salmonella isn't anything to trifle with. It is now Tuesday morning. If I wanted to fry a turkey for the noon meal on Thursday, I would begin thawing the turkey this afternoon.

The turkey must be thawed, and some seasoning helps. I like to thaw my turkey, then place it in a garbage bag, pour in some italian dressing, some beer, some cayenne pepper, then seal the bag and let the turkey marinate in that mixture for six or eight hours. Some folks like to inject the bird with marinade. Whatever floats your boat.

When your turkey is thawed, marinated, and you have the equiment set up in a safe spot outdoors, the following steps are crucial.

1. With everything off, everything cold, put the turkey into the pot. Fill the pot with oil until the turkey is covered in oil. Remove the turkey. The amount of oil in the pot is the proper amount. Some people fill the pot with oil, get it hot, then add the turkey. They are considerably surprised when the turkey displaces oil, and the oil runs down the side of the pot, starting a fire and making a hell of a mess. Do it my way, and have a big enough pot. When the cold turkey goes in the hot oil, there will be a certain amount of sizzling and bubbling and you need enough pot to contain the bubbling.

2. With the turkey out of the oil, light your fire, and start heating your oil. It will take a few minutes to bring the oil to the 360 degrees F that is necessary for frying. A good frying themometer is essential. Once the oil is up to temerature, add the turkey carefully.

3. Start your timing. Monitor your temperature. Adjust the fire to keep 360-375 oil temperature. When the time is over, carefully remove your bird from the oil and enjoy. The outer skin will be crisp and totally brown. The flesh of the bird will be flavorful and juicy.

4. Bon Apetit. While you are eating, and enjoying the adulation of your guests, let everything cool. You can clean the mess outside later.