I heard this term this morning and had to look it up. Dead-Naming. Evidently, that is the practice of, when dealing with trans people, of using the name they were born with instead of the name they prefer. For edample.
Lets say you know a guy named Joe. Went to high school with him. Joe was always a little bit standoff-ish, but other wise okay. Ten years later you run into Joe on the street, and he says his name is Sally. If you keep calling him Joe, you are dead-naming.
So, this leads to problems. Did Joe go through the process of legally changing his name? Or is he just stage-acting? How seriously should we take Joe at his word. Or did I just misgender him? Oops, did it again. Did Joe get a boob job, or is he still wearing a beard? If both, he can get work in a circus.
When I was a single man, both as a young adult and later as a mature adult, I had one iron-clad rule for dating. I would never date a woman who could display a better moustache than mine. And I have a very poor moustache. I'm just sayin'.
6 comments:
This is one of the situations where they want to have it their way.
They want to be called their choice but they call their opponents whatever they want to call them.
It's the same way that they demand their preferred name for their causes but always use derogatory names for their opponents.
The classic example of this is their insistence on being called "Pro Choice" while calling their opponents "anti abortion" instead of Pro Life.
Jonathan
I run into this on EMS calls, when these mentally ill creatures find out Glypto ain't playin' their stupid games. I need your full LEGAL name on the LEGAL DOCUMENT I am creating called a PCR (Patient Care Report). If your state ID says you are a male named John and you tell me you are a female named Sally, guess how I document your identity? Oh... you have preferred pronouns? Again... don't care, not playin'! Now that we send PT info to the hospital by an app called "Twiage" the PT can't over hear us making a radio patch on the med radio and object to what we say.
Now, if someone has fully transitioned and legally changed their name and can prove it, that is what I will use.
I live outside a D1 SEC college town you all know. Working downtown one day I was talking with the electrician on the job - good looking young single guy early 20s, motorcycle, good job, etc.
Hey man, whats it like going out on a game night Saturday after a big win? Is the pussy just throwing itself around at you?
He doesn't go to the college bars anymore, he said. 50/50 chance the ho giving you the business on the dance floor, asking to go to the parkinglot for a little fun, is actually a dude wearing a skirt!
Liberty, Boogie Street, Singapore circa 1985...
"Dude, your date has an Adam's apple"
And I bet the other half will spend your money and then toss you out and file a complaint...
I've heard lots of men say they are very cautious when dating or flirting these days.
Me? I always was when single, but now that I'm married I'm out of the game.
Handling this isn’t hard, just be a decent respectful person. It’s the same thing you would presumedly do with a friend/ family member who changed their name for some other reason. Example, I met a gal named Shelby. We are pretty good friends. At some point she decided to start going by Honey. So I call her Honey. I didn’t give her the 3rd degree about it or ask to see her drivers license or birth certificate. I just call her what she wants to be called.
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