A Modest Suggestion

It seems that while I was out dancing, drinking, and celebrating life, some poor soul in Afghanistan burned a bag of garbage. Inside that bag happened to be some religious tracts that were no longer suitable for use. They burned a Koran (or Qu'ran... whatever).

(CNSNews.com) – Despite a series of abject apologies from the U.S. military and the Obama administration, fresh and growing protests were reported in at least two Afghan cities on Wednesday morning over the apparently unintentional burning of copies of the Qur’an at a U.S. military base.

Turns out the Afghans are outraged. Of course they are, they're always outraged. Their outrage bored me.

So, I have a modest suggestion. Remind them that we were not invited and have "stood-up" their little shithole country, expelled the Taliban, and tried to make life easier for them, dragging them kicking and screaming out of the stone age and into the ... well... at least the last century. Remind them that their esteemed prophet was a murderer and a pedophile and that their backwards religion is the price they pay for living in the Dark Ages, without power, light, running water, or education.

I mean, c'mon, Islam is a backwards religion. Truly, heart-achingly backwards.

Then leave the country, but first, destroy everything we've brought with us. Power stations, water projects, everything. Tell anyone who wants to leave that they're welcome to come to the United States, but they must first sign affidavits stating that they disavow Islam and are willing to emigrate to the US where they will be educated, trained for menial tasks, and allowed to live their lives in peace and relative comfort. Let them pick peaches, oranges, and other tasks until they can stand up small businesses.

Afghanistan will cease to exist in ten years. All the women will be over here. The kids will be educated, the oranges will be picked, and we'll be a stronger country for the new blood.