It being a slow-news Tuesday, I am intrigued with some of the media that comes out on slow news days. The Game isn't on TV yet, and I have a few minutes before I watch the Sox hand the 'Stros their ass, so answer a question for me.
What is the deal with this metrosexual, ubersexual shit I see bandied about in the media these days? Are they trying to define manhood? Gimme a break!
For starters, if you are concerned enough about your masculinity that you actually pay attention to that kind of shit, then maybe you ought to join the next rainbow event in your local area.
If you are a woman, and you aren't sure if you are dating a metrosexual or a ubersexual, then the evidence reveals that you are dating a homosexual.
I've only been married for a little over two years (this time). They started this metrosexual, ubersexual shit once I was off the marriage market, so I guess that the ladies are trying to figure out where the hell I went. Get over it. I'm married.
Quit trying to define us, ladies. We're men. Pretty easy to figure out. Give us a little wiggle from time to time, feed us regular, don't get excited about our bullshit, and the relationship will turn out fine. If we hang around longer than two or three weeks, we're in a relationship, so don't worry about that.
I am reminded of one gal I danced with one night down at the local honky-tonk. She had that look in her eyes and I took her to the Holiday Inn for a little horizontal dancing. After we were through, she told me she didn' want to be a one night stand. I told her I only dated one lady at a time.
And that was correct, as far as it went. I dated someone else on Monday, and drinks with someone else on Wednesday, and supper with someone else on Friday, and I met her again on Saturday at the honky-tonk. Turns out, she wasn't a one-night stand, she was a string of one-night stands.
I finally met the woman that was my match. She gives me a little wiggle from time to time, feeds me regular and puts up with my bullshit. She and I have been married now for two years, going on three, and I think this relationship might take. I still only date one woman at a time.
I'm off the market. I'm married.
If you can't figure out what kind of man you are dating, you are dating a homosexual.
3 comments:
J. Paul Getty, once the world's richest man, was quoted in a _Playboy_ magazine interview many years ago as saying, "I would trade everything I own for a happy marriage."
At the time, I didn't believe him. Now, I believe he meant every word.
Metrosexuals are the guys who are stuck on stupid regarding their appearance. The guy who spends longer getting ready to go play racquetball than a woman does getting ready for her wedding. Ok, I exagerated. Ubersexuals are the same thing, but with an eye toward masculinity. Both are in my opinion a few cells short.
Where I come from if you call a man an anythingasexual, you're in for an ass whoopin'!
Where the heck did this stuff come from anyway? Either you're a man or you ain't. Where's the problem with that?
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