Between College and Work

An article at the New York Times got me laughing, then thinking about our culture today. The article, was trying to give advise on how to spend the time between college and your first job, and I almost spit coffee across the keyboard. It's in Q&A format, so we'll continue with that format

Q. You’ve just graduated from college but couldn’t find a job or internship in advance — so you are moving back in with your parents. Can you take some time off before restarting your job search?

You mean to tell me that you spent four years in college and you don't already have a job? What the hell is wrong with you?

I worked my way through college, had a job the whole time. Several jobs, actually, from working as a roofer, to working in a soft-drink plant, to working as a janitor. I remember going to my boss and telling him that I needed a day off so that I could attend my commencement ceremony. He patted me on the back and said fine, be back at work on Monday.

My eldest son went into the Air Force directly after high school, got a good education in a high-tech field. He's worked every day since.

Second son went to a prestigious technical college. He worked the whole time he was in school, took a weekend off and has worked every day since.

Daughter worked every day she was in college, being a car-hop at a drive-in restaurant.

Younger son worked his way through college, had to take off for his commencement ceremony. If you don't have a job when you graduate from college, I question your work ethic.

Q. What’s the best way to use the time between graduation and employment?

Get home early after the ceremony and go to bed. You've got to be back at work tomorrow morning.

Q. Is there a way to develop skills you need for your chosen field, without yet having a job in that field?

You mean to tell me that you spent four years in college and don't have the skills you need to get a job? Your education has been a waste! Go to your financial aid office and tell them that you need a refund.

Q. What if the only job you can find involves waiting tables or working as a clerk in a retail store? Could that reflect negatively on you when you interview for jobs in your industry?

Honest work is honest work, you over-entitled ignoramus. Get a job, dumbass. Any job. Your professors are laughing at you.

Q. Since you can’t find a job in your field, should you try starting your own business?

That's not a bad idea. Starting a business is a great resume builder, BUT, the way you worded the question makes me question your intelligence. In the real world you don't try. You either do it or you don't. Failure is always an option, but you'll learn valuable lessons by failing. So, either start a business or don't, but don't whine about trying.

Oh, and that whole thing about moving back in with your parents? As my Dad once so famously told me, when I asked where my bed had been moved. "Son, you don't live here any more. That wasn't your bed, that was your Mother's bed, and she sold it. I don't know where you live, but you don't live here any more."

Get a job, you lazy bum. Any job. You don't live here anymore.