Sunday church

I go to a small country church where everyone knows everyone else. It's like a large extended family with lots of aunts and uncles. You cannot be anonymous at my church because the congregation will simply NOT allow it.

My wife and my mother share the same first name. I've never called either by their name in this venue, simply because I don't use names of private persons here.

Anyway. Dad is going through a hard time medically and I got to church this morning and didn't see his car. I knew the congregation would want an update, and I've been working 15 hours days this week, and I haven't kept track of my parents, so I called Pop on the cell phone to check on him. He's feeling better, just puny, and was staying home this morning. My wife, being a night nurse, and me being a daytime cop, I haven't seen my lady for three days. She's normally asleep beside me when I get up in the morning, but we haven't spoken three words since Thursday afternoon.

So, we get to the part of the service where we share joys and concerns. The pastor look right at me and asks "So, How's Miss **** doing? Remember, my mother and wife have the same Chrisian name, and I panic. I think they're asking about my mother, and I'm not even aware that anything is wrong. So, I stand, and smile sheepishly. "I don't know... I talked to Pop this morning and he didn't say anything. I guess I need to check on that." Then I sit down.

The pastor looks at me like a lost puppy. And says words to the effect of "No, dummy, your wife."

So I stand, and say the only thing I can say. "I guess she's okay. I haven't seen her in three days." Then I sit back down. It wasn't one of my finest moments.