Alligator bites paper boy

Well, almost. The gator lunged at the paperboy, who jumped back. I bet. Somehow, the last thing a Pennsylvania paperboy thinks about is being eaten by a gator.

I'm not making this up, and it is too early on Friday to be in the bourbon. Go read it yourself.

POTTSTOWN, PA (AP) -- A man delivering newspapers at 5 a.m. Monday heard an unusual sound as he got out of his truck to retrieve a misthrown newspaper. He walked between two parked cars and saw a 4-foot alligator.

"He kind of lunged at me and hissed," said Bobby Kish, 46. "His mouth was open; I was about five feet away. It was enough to get my attention."

A four foot gator? You stomp those suckers and they run like hell back to the water. A four-footer might be dangerous to children and dogs, but a grown man should be able to hold his own against a four foot gator.

Of course, any proper paper boy would have capped that sucker right between the eyes and left it laying in the driveway for the neighbors to find. In the alternative, he could have gotten a rope on it and hauled it up in a tree. That would have been a charming sight at daylight.